Today I want to talk about that one time Satan got kicked out of heaven. It was a big deal. Satan’s like the worst person ever and God is the best person, so it makes a lot of sense that the two couldn’t be roommates forever. But…
…What if Satan isn’t actually a horrible being and instead just had a lot of the same qualms I have?
What if God is like Kim Jong Un and all the angels just follow him around worshiping him because they’re afraid of what he’ll do if they don’t? Maybe Satan is just a cool guy who refused to worship Kim Jong Un.
The Bible tells you Satan is a trickster so we shouldn’t believe anything he says. Which, woah. Thanks for looking out, Bible. I would have fallen right into his trap without the warning. But also, isn’t that what like every cult says?
“Those guys over there are bad. Don’t listen to a word of what they say. Just listen to me, I’ll tell the real truth.”- Cult leader about your parents, also The Bible about Satan
But, what if he’s not actually a trickster and the Bible just said that because God was mad that Satan wouldn’t worship him? Is there any way Satan could show us he’s not a bad guy that we’d actually believe?
I know we’re not supposed to think of Satan as a potentially endearing character, but what if God is the bad guy and he just happens to be more powerful so he gets his way? I mean, it’s not like the Old Testament really does much to disprove that notion.
Anyway.
I’m guessing this was how it all went down.
PSA: Don’t Stop for Pedestrians in the Middle of the Goddamn Highway
On God: Christmas Edition- Santa vs. Jesus
The Spectrum of Belief and the Circle of Influence
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