unsolicited advice on health, happiness and how to not be a dummy with finances
“The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”- Marcus Aurelius Meditations Book 5.20
Despite Satan’s best effort the year of our Lord 2020 is officially over. As we go into the new year I’m thinking of one of my favorite teachings of Stoicism— the obstacle is the way. Continue reading “The Obstacle is the Way- Happy New Year!”
We’re in the homestretch of 2020. Hallelujah. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what I want to change next year and what practices I want to keep going. People poo-poo the idea of New Year’s resolutions because “people just give up on them anyway.” I think this is faulty thinking. New Year’s resolutions are a great kick in the pants many of us need to get going.
I love the idea of New Year’s resolutions because it gets people out of their rut, even if only temporarily. The new year brings hope for a better tomorrow, hope that we can be better versions of ourselves. I just have one little twist to the standard New Year’s resolution…start today.
Most people don’t make it past the first month with their resolutions. We have just around a month to go before the new year. Why not have an unofficial pre-season to get yourself in resolution shape? Give yourself the month of December to practice your upcoming New Year’s resolution(s).
This gives you the opportunity to tweak it or discard it and pick a different one before 2021 even starts. And, if you like it, it gives you momentum coming into the new year. You’re not just starting to practice Spanish for the first time in January, you’ve already been doing it for a month. You have a month of writing more under your belt or exercising.
Instead of waiting until January 1st to realize meditating for two hours every day isn’t sustainable, give yourself this month to figure out what is sustainable. Maybe meditating every day just isn’t going to happen but meditating three times per week actually could work. Three times per week is better than zero times per week.
December is a free month where you get to try and fail and tweak and succeed guilt-free.
Spend the month of December figuring out what you want to improve about yourself and then start practicing. If you fall off the wagon, don’t give up. Figure out why you fell off, change that, and try again.
Be specific. Don’t just say you want to meditate more. Make a specific plan for how long/often you want to meditate.
Start small. If you want to practice your writing every day don’t give yourself the obligation of writing an entire novel before you count your day as a success. Get in the habit of doing the resolution and worry about the intensity/duration after your habit is solidly in place.
Have daily/weekly actionable steps. Don’t just say, I want to write a novel this year. Have a plan for how much you want to write each day/week so that by sticking to your small attainable goals you’ll reach your larger goal.
Keep going when you fail. If you start the new year off strong but eventually fall off the wagon don’t be afraid to just start again. There is no 100% attendance award for going the entire year faithfully carrying out your resolution. The reward is self-improvement. Even if you stop practicing your resolution for several months it’s okay to simply start again.
Check in With Yourself Before You Check in With the World
Staying Mentally and Physically Fit During Social Isolation
The Daily Struggle for Happiness
A lot of us live our lives in a never-ending battle to keep it together. It feels like we’re being pulled in multiple directions and, frankly, it’s exhausting. We’re in a constant state of low-battery mode and we’re not sure how to charge the thing.
One problem is we totally misunderstand how our brains work. Continue reading “How to Recharge Your Life Battery Through Stoicism”
Fire. That title is straight fire. February recap and March goals. If that doesn’t get your blood flowing I don’t know what will. What’s this article going to be about? I like to keep my readers guessing. Okay, fine. This post is going to be about what happened in February AND what my goals are for March. Continue reading “February Recap and March Goals”
We all want to be successful. Life is inherently unfair and hard work isn’t always the determining factor in where we end up. Sometimes you work harder than the person next to you and they’re the ones who get the job. The world can be a cold mistress.
So what do we do, assuming we weren’t born with a silver spoon? This will border on being a controversial statement, but hear me out: Stop blaming society for your problems.
It’s not your fault, but you may as well take responsibility. Continue reading “How to Become Successful- Stop Blaming and Start Swimming”
I was recently struck with how little effort it takes to drastically affect someone’s day for the positive. My sister texted me out of the blue and asked how I was doing. Not in the “How’s it going?” “Good, you?” type of way, but a real “No really, how are you doing?” It gave me a chance to unload a little bit. Overall, I’m doing really well. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been. But, I’m also tired and find myself more than a little discouraged from time to time.
Here’s the truth: I want to quit blogging after every post I publish. Continue reading “The Cost of Kindness”
I lie to myself a lot. I’m an honest person, more or less, but I frequently lie to myself because it helps me cope. Don’t worry, I will explain.
Some people are great at the type of self-talk where they bully themselves into submission. “You WILL eat these vegetables!!” they’ll say as they force another Brussels sprout into their mouths. Others go the opposite extreme where they make an excuse for themselves at every turn. “It’s okay, you don’t need to exercise today. You’ve had a hard week, you deserve some ice cream instead.” A lot of us don’t fall into either of these categories. We require a little more nuance to our self-talk. Might I suggest my personal preference? I prefer to lie. Continue reading “Becoming Professor Chaos- Why I Lie to Myself Every Day”
I recently took a several month hiatus away from doing most of the healthy things I normally do. Towards the end of Mrs. Burrito Bowl’s pregnancy I had a pretty good routine of getting to the gym, shaving occasionally, intermittent fasting five days per week, drinking apple cider vinegar for some reason, Wim Hof breathing and making sure to end my showers with a minute or two of cold exposure. After Baby Burrito Bowl came into the mix most of those healthy routines stopped. Here’s a picture of her for no reason other than she’s super cute. Continue reading “Doing the Things- How to Get Going When You’ve Lost Motivation”
I love chow mein, but not all Chinese restaurants serve the same type. It’s either a 10/10 meal for me, or a 2/10 meal, depending on which version they serve. Lo mein, on the other hand, is almost always a respectable 7/10. It’s never amazing, but it’s never awful.
Since eating Chinese food is such a rare treat I’m left with what I call The Chow Mein Conundrum. Do I play it safe and order lo mein, or do I risk it and order chow mein? In other words, do I go for what I really want and risk having an awful meal, or do I play it safe and get the guaranteed pretty good meal? This is a lot like life.
Life itself is a rare occasion.
Sometimes we’re faced with the decision to either play it safe or really go for it. The rarer the opportunity the higher the stakes. Do we turn down the steady job that we don’t really love in order to pursue our dream job? Do we gather our courage and ask our crush out risking embarrassment? OR do we stay safely on the sidelines content to have a 7/10 life?
For years I only ordered lo mein because I was afraid of the awful feeling I’d get when I was served bad chow mein. The thing is, I never really remember the times I got lo mein. It was a fine, but forgettable meal. I was choosing lo mein, not out of love for lo mein, but out of fear of bad chow mein. I almost always remember the places and meals where I got good chow mein. I’ve had enough forgettable meals.
From now on, I will always get the chow mein.
How many times have you wanted to put yourself out there but didn’t because you were afraid of failure? Failure in our day to day lives is often blown out of proportion. We sit on the sidelines because we’re afraid of failure. Ultimately, failure is sitting on the sidelines never playing the game.
I say get up on stage and sing the song, share your poem, write the book, ask your crush out, apply for that dream job. Maybe you fall flat on your face and it’s embarrassing and it sucks, but if you don’t even try it’ll be just another forgettable moment. Don’t live a life of forgettable moments.
When you’re making decisions it’s important to ask yourself if you’re choosing chow mein or lo mein.
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Redefining Success and Chasing FI- The Boat vs. The Shore
A lot of us go through our lives feeling unhappy. Much of our unhappiness stems from not feeling successful enough. We don’t make enough money and we don’t have nice enough things. People never want our autograph unless we’re buying something from them. In short, we’re worried we don’t measure up, and it leaves us feeling unfulfilled. A lot goes into feeling unsuccessful.
Part of our unhappiness comes from comparing ourselves to others, and part comes from chasing the wrong things. What actually makes us happy, and what we chase, are too often very different.
In order to fix this we need to do something. Two somethings, actually. One, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Two, we need to start chasing the right things. Continue reading “Redefining Success and Chasing FI- The Boat vs. The Shore”
