The Gospel of Finance- Ranting Old Testament Prophet Edition

The other day my wife and I were talking about how it feels like we’ve discovered this secret that we just want to share with the world but nobody seems to care.  It’s like we’re all wandering around aimlessly in the desert and we’ve stumbled upon this oasis.

We feel guilty keeping it to ourselves and we can’t figure out why everyone doesn’t at least want to hear us out. It feels like we’re evangelists trying to spread the gospel of this FIRE movement.   I imagine this is similar to how the prophets of the Old Testament felt when they would rant and rail about God’s impending judgement but nobody gave a shit.  I wonder what it would look like if one of those prophets was really hung up on personal finance, instead of God’s imminent wrath… Continue reading “The Gospel of Finance- Ranting Old Testament Prophet Edition”

Why You Should Consider Skipping College and What to do Instead

Is College Really Right For You or Your Kids?

Kids are priceless joys to be cherished.  Priceless, dumb, cherish-able joys.  Once they jump through some hoops we give them a high school diploma and shove them out the door to jump through more hoops and get a coveted college degree.  An undergraduate college degree is almost worthless these days with everyone and their mother getting one.  After you’ve been out of college for a couple years you realize nobody cares about your degree.  They want to know about your experience.  A degree sets you up for a future…. a future life of debt.  Boom! Shots fired.  You should consider skipping college. Continue reading “Why You Should Consider Skipping College and What to do Instead”

Pelicans- Not Known Fans of Leg Day

Pelicans Don’t Do Squats

Me: Honey, honey look. It's leg day.  I just did squats. Look at my legs.  
Mrs. Burrito Bowl:*Doesn't look up* They look great honey
Me: Can you tell I'm flexing them?
Mrs. Burrito Bowl: You're flexing them?  Haha.
Me: *Hangs head in shame*

Some people are blessed with killer legs but a poor personality.  My wife has great legs as well as a great personality.  I have an okay personality but the legs of a pelican.  Also I have poor natural eyesight.  Nature is a cold mistress. Continue reading “Pelicans- Not Known Fans of Leg Day”

How Investment Fees Are Decimating Your Portfolio

Investment fees are pretty bad.  I’m not going to lie to you about that.  I initially planned on asking a hypothetical question about whether or not they were a big deal, but they are.  They are a big deal.  They are such a big deal I don’t even want to waste time asking how your week was.  We just don’t have time for that.  If your portfolio is being charged a few percentage points per year, you could be losing out on over a million dollars over the course of your life. Continue reading “How Investment Fees Are Decimating Your Portfolio”

How Much are You Really Earning? Hourly Wage vs. Hourly Profit

How Much are You Really Earning Per Hour?

I think it’s valuable to spend some time thinking about life from a different angle than we’re used to. When deciding whether or not to buy something do you ever think about how many hours you’d have to work in order to pay for it? How would you even calculate this?  If you’re like me, you’d take the purchase price and divide it by your gross hourly wage, but this number is almost irrelevant.  Instead, we should be considering purchases based on our hourly profit.   Continue reading “How Much are You Really Earning? Hourly Wage vs. Hourly Profit”

How to Prepare for a Job Loss- Every Paycheck Could be Your Last

One day you will leave your job and you won’t return.  Maybe you don’t have 18 more years.  Maybe you have four.  Imagine in four years something happens and you don’t have your job anymore.

The year is 2022.  You show up to work Monday morning after a weekend of camping.  Your boss calls you into the office.  The company is downsizing and unfortunately your position is going away.  Don’t worry though, you’ll get a plaque and your boss will totally give you a great reference.

How do you feel? Now imagine that doesn’t happen in four years. Imagine that happened today. 

If You Lost Your Job Today, Would You Be OK?

We recently listened to a podcast called “The Daily” while driving my wife to work.  It’s a short podcast that comes out (drum roll please), every weekday.  They usually have one main story then do a couple minutes of news to wrap it up.  The story was about a single mother who was laid off from her factory job because the company moved the plant to Mexico.  It’s a sad story for the lady and her children. She’s the breadwinner and her son has a daughter with several medical issues.

The part of the podcast that really stuck with me was how much of this could have been avoided.  In the podcast she mentioned how she made about $1000/week by working every day to provide for her family.  She talked about how she bought a new house and a nice car so her daughter wouldn’t be embarrassed when she dropped her off at school.

Life wasn’t great but they were getting by.  I think a lot of people can relate to her story.  You struggle to make ends meet and when you finally get ahead in life you want to let the purse strings loose a little.  When she talked about her new car and new house I thought:

“No, no, noooo! Save your money! Don’t buy a nice car or a nice house when you’re teetering so close to the edge!!”

I hesitate because obviously her situation is so much different than mine. I feel a bit silly sitting here on my high horse wishing I could have given some financial advice to a 43-year-old single grandmother as though I have some secret answers. Admittedly, my life has just been much easier.  Mrs. Burrito bowl and I both work. We both have good jobs and if we lose our jobs we can get new ones.

This lady didn’t have that luxury.  She is 43 and has worked in the factory her entire adult life.  She lives and breathes her job at the factory but she also lives paycheck to paycheck.

What if someone had told her when she was 25 years old that she would work at the factory for 18 years but then her job would be gone. Would she have chosen to spend any differently?  Eighteen years is a long time to keep a job.  Once we put a time limit on it, it immediately becomes more urgent.

Would she still buy that new car?  Would she choose the house that she chose?  How many other small details would have been different if she knew her window for making that kind of money was closing so fast?

The truth is most people wouldn’t do things much different.

When is Your Last Day at Work?

One day you will leave your job and you won’t return.  Maybe you don’t have 18 more years.  Maybe you have four.  Imagine in four years something happens and you don’t have your job anymore.

The year is 2022.  You show up to work Monday morning after a weekend of camping.  Your boss calls you into the office.  The company is downsizing and unfortunately your position is going away.  Don’t worry though, you’ll get a plaque and your boss will totally give you a great reference.

How do you feel? Now imagine that doesn’t happen in four years. Imagine that happened today.  Right now, your finances are what they are.  You just lost your job.  Are you panicking? Would you have chosen to spend your last few paychecks any differently?

Do you have an emergency fund? A back-up plan?  Can your cat do any tricks that will make you internet famous?  Think damnit!

Old Dry Eyes Loses His Job, But Not His Cool

I’m not afraid to lose my job because I treat every paycheck like it’s my last one. Sometimes I imagine my boss telling me the bad news that they can’t keep me on board anymore.  He’d look into my eyes to see if they filled with the salty tears of panic.  Not today. My eyes are as dry as two day old rice that’s been left out on the counter without a lid.

In my fantasy I’m immediately interviewed by whatever the home builders equivalent to ESPN is.  The interview goes something like this:

Interviewer: So you just lost your job.  I bet you’re totally unprepared.  What would you do differently? Hey, how come you aren’t crying?

Me looking at the interviewer: Well, I treated every paycheck like it might be my last one.  I’m prepared for this.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Then I’d turn to look directly into the camera and cut my best Chael Sonnen-esque promo: Not a damn thing.

The interviewer would be so impressed with my calm demeanor and general fortitude that she’d ask where she can find out more.  I’d tell her to check out Why Pursue Fi and Save Pretax because I’m a shameless self promotor.  In my defense I just lost my job in this fantasy so I need as many people reading the blog as I can get.

I’ll admit, it’s a weird fantasy.  I feel like that particular situation has a low likelihood of ever happening, but still, I like to be prepared.

We are America, It’s what We Do

I feel like this lady never had this savers fantasy.  It’s not just her.  We are America, this is what we do. We inflate our lives to match our income.  Often we inflate our lives to stretch past our income because we always think tomorrow will bring more money to make up the difference.  Her situation is different from the typical can’t-get-ahead-single-mom because she actually made good money.  She’s not working for $8.13/hr, she was making $25/hr give or take.  That’s pretty damn good.  But no matter how much you’re making, it can dry up fast.

She couldn’t have saved as much as some because she had more expenses than a lot of people, but she could have still saved some.  If you knew you only had 100 gallons of water to last the month you would ration the shit out of it.  If some bag of dicks who has 300 gallons per month stuck his nose in your business and said “You should probably use less water,” it would be tempting to kick him in the nuts.  However, he’s right, you should still use less water.

“Got a New Job! Thinking about immediately spending way more than I can ever hope to repay! #Fitfam #Baller”

When I see people post on Facebook that they’re debating between a Lexus or an Audi, or that they just bought some huge house I just want to scream at them.  “YOU COULD BE 43 AND JOBLESS!!!” Sure right now when you’re 30 the world looks bright; but what happens if you do lose your job in your mid-40s? Nobody wants to hire someone like you when they can hire a kid out of college and pay them half of your salary.

I fully realize that even the fact that I have the time to read financial articles and write a blog is a luxury most people don’t have.  A very lucky boy am I to have a savers mindset.  I hope I can gently sway others to join me in this savers mindset.  If that doesn’t work I hope I can grab people by the neck and drag them kicking and screaming towards a life of freedom and happiness.

Bad News: The Wheels Are Going to Fall Off

Your level of preparedness is irrelevant.  Life happens.   It really doesn’t matter how much money you make if you spend it all.  Treat every paycheck like it might be your last.

The irony is that people who are reading some obscure blog post about finances are not the ones who need to hear the message of saving.  The people who really could use the advice are driving to work right now in their fancy car, not knowing that in a few years the wheels are going to fall off.

You might like one of these articles too:

Life is Short- Spend for Today vs. Save for Tomorrow

Pay off Your Credit Card, Kid

The Work Hard Play Hard Mindset vs. Chasing FI

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What if Everyone Ate Rice and Beans?- The Hedonic Treadmill and Pursuing Happiness

"You know, if you could learn to cater to the king you wouldn't have to live on rice and beans.' To which the monk replies: 'If you could learn to live on rice and beans, you wouldn't have to cater to the king." - The Simple Path to Wealth

Woooo girl.  Rice and beans.  That little parable is straight fire, as the kids say.  Red, hot fire.  At least they used to say stuff was fire, until adults started to say it on their financial blogs.  Now kids no longer feel the need to say it.   If you’re wondering, yes, I did high-five myself when I read that story.  It’s called a clap, it’s trendy.

If you would only spend your days working your life away you wouldn’t have to live so frugally.

OR

If you would only learn to live more frugally you wouldn’t have to spend all your precious days working. Continue reading “What if Everyone Ate Rice and Beans?- The Hedonic Treadmill and Pursuing Happiness”

5 Amateur Tips You Can Use to Keep Your Wardrobe in Check

Last month I posted an article about 7 Things I do Every Morning to Avoid Decision Fatigue.  One aspect of that is my wardrobe.  I love my wardrobe.  I love my wardrobe because I have very little in it and I only wear what fits the best and is the most comfortable. If it isn’t comfortable, or doesn’t go with everything else, I’ve pretty much gotten rid of it.

“You’re trick to a great wardrobe is to not own any clothes?”- A naysayer 

Continue reading “5 Amateur Tips You Can Use to Keep Your Wardrobe in Check”

The Burrito Bowls Go To Walmart- The Untold True Story

 Disclaimer:  The following post makes light of the various characters one encounters upon entering a Walmart.  If description of said characters is likely to offend, please do not read.  This article is strictly for entertainment and also to help us process what we saw.  This is our story.

In the not too distant past Mr. and Mrs. Burrito Bowl ventured into unknown territory. We went to Walmart.

Our foray into the unknown started off innocently enough.  We needed supplies for my birthday party and we didn’t want to hit up Costco on a weekend. Continue reading “The Burrito Bowls Go To Walmart- The Untold True Story”

Saying Goodbye to the Dink Days-Preparing for Our Baby Girl with FI in Mind

Well friends and neighbors, it’s official.  We are expecting a Baby Burrito Bowl in late December.  On August 3rd we found out our future little bundle of emotions will be a girl.  We are incredibly excited, and the proper amount of terrified, about the whole process.

This will be a fun little case study on how to go about planning for a child with financial independence in mind using ourselves as case study subjects.  Will we crush it and prove to ourselves that having a child doesn’t have to cost a small fortune?  Will we abandon the FI ship and run gleefully towards consumerism, small child in tow?  Only the gods know at this point. Continue reading “Saying Goodbye to the Dink Days-Preparing for Our Baby Girl with FI in Mind”