unsolicited advice on health, happiness and how to not be a dummy with finances
If you’re reading this on April 29th it means two things: I published this post on time, and it’s my first day being a part-time stay at home dad. April 26th marked the official end of Mrs. Burrito Bowl’s maternity leave. Due to the fact that our baby routinely makes this face…
…or if she really gets going, this face…
…we decided we couldn’t bare to put her in daycare. Continue reading “Choosing Family Over Finances- Becoming a Part-Time Stay at Home Dad”
We ate food all last year. Just the whole time. We were routinely caught eating things. Many of you probably assume we ate burrito bowls for every meal. That’s not true, sometimes we ate oatmeal.
I wanted to clear the air just in case any of you were like, “Hey, that Burrito guy seems cool, but what’s his grocery situation?” I don’t know if any of you are questioning whether or not I deserve having burrito bowls as my moniker. That’s why we’re all here.
First off, how can we possibly know how much we’ve spent? Great question. We aren’t food price scholars. Instead, we use a free app called Personal Capital. The way it works is you link your credit cards, investment accounts, debts, checking accounts etc., and it gives you a snapshot of your entire financial life. All our grocery spending, restaurants, Amazon Prime purchases etc. are all categorized. Very powerful stuff.
This is not actually an article about you getting Personal Capital, even though you should download it. This is an article about how much we ate in 2018. Since Mrs. Burrito Bowl is on top of things, she’s already categorized all of our 2018 spending into various groups. This makes it theoretically possible to figure out how much money we spent per meal. I don’t really know if that’s how you’re supposed to use the word theoretical. Let’s not dwell on it.
Here’s how I’ll break it down:
There’s two of us who eat food that isn’t breast milk, and if you figure three meals per day for 365 days, that’s a total of 2190 possible meals for 2018.
Next we’ll look at how much our overall grocery bill was for the entire year. These numbers aren’t exact as it’s possible to buy things that aren’t food from grocery stores. Close enough, I always say.
That equates to 598.63 per month. The per month isn’t really important information other than it’s easier to visualize a monthly breakdown. So let’s take $7,120 divided by 2190 possible meals.
7120/2190= 3.25
We spent $3.25 per meal on groceries. Thanks for reading this article.
But WAIT! That’s just groceries. We’re frugal, but we didn’t eat in every meal. We went out. So $3.25 is artificially low. How much did we spend being social and fancy at restaurants?
That comes out to $229.85 per month. Wow. That seems like a lot. Maybe we really are fancy people. Does that feel like a little or a lot to you? Also, how cool is this blog now that we have screen shots? Can you believe how professional these circular graphs look? Me either.
I think we could have eaten out a little bit less, but we got great value when we chose to go out. Frugality is about life optimization, not deprivation. We ate out rarely enough that we really appreciated every time we paid someone else to make us food. It was never monotonous for us, it was always special.
Mrs. Burrito Bowl was pregnant for most of 2018, so I was going to blame our higher restaurant bill on that, but the chart above shows our biggest two months of the year were January and February, before she was pregnant.
So now to get our more accurate total we need to add $2,757 to our $7120 we spent on groceries.
2,757+7120= 9,877. Yikes. That seems like more money. So now to get our real cost per meal we take 9,877 and divide it by 2,190 total meals.
9,877/2,190= $4.51
We also spent, (ok I spent) $331 on alcohol for the year. If you add that into the mix that’s $10,208 total spent on eating and drinking, which equates to $4.66 per person per meal.
Just for fun we’ll do one more calculation. We spent $10,208 in order to shove things into our faces. What’s that per day?
10,208/365= 27.97
We spent $27.97 total per day on eating and drinking, about 14 bucks per person.
First, we spent a lot more than we wanted to, but probably a lot less than most people. For those $4.66 we ate really well. We buy the more expensive eggs, the more expensive grass fed meats, and we hardly ever eat cheap fillers like pasta and bread. We did eat a lot of burrito bowls. Like, a lot of burrito bowls. You can really bring the cost of a meal down with some bulk beans and rice.
Second, a lot of our food budget was taken up eating out, and we don’t eat out very often. Eating at home is so much less expensive than going out to dinner. I don’t think people realize how much getting takeout once per week, or getting a nice dinner in the city once a month, adds up.
We probably get takeout or go out to eat once or twice per month. Despite that, eating out ended up being a whopping 38.7% of our overall food budget! Plus, when you eat at restaurants you’re not getting nearly the quality of ingredients as you do when you eat at home.
Third, to calculate this we put all our groceries into the calculation. Sometimes people try to calculate each individual meal, but then they eat a bunch of snacks throughout the day that they don’t really count. Our price per meal is just an average of what we eat throughout the day, not necessarily our meals.
Fourth, eat your leftovers. We used to be really bad about making food then shoving it to the back of the fridge for several weeks until we were scared to eat it. It would hang out in the back for a couple more weeks until we were afraid to even open up the container to throw it away. Not an ideal situation.
We were much better last year at dating our leftovers and eating them all before they go bad. If you’re throwing food out because you just never get around to eating it, you’re leaving a lot of money on the table.
How much did you spend eating and drinking in 2018? If you’d like to get a handle on your finances you should download Personal Capital so you can do fun things like figure out your net worth and how much you’re spending on groceries. It’s a free app and is well worth every penny.
If you want to try Personal Capital use this code, link your accounts, and we’ll both get $20! Hooray. Download Personal Capital and get $20 cause you’re real as real gets
This post may contain affiliate links if the above link counts as an affiliate link. I’m not really sure how technology works.
Here’s a few more articles you might enjoy regardless of how you felt about this one:
Mr. Burrito Bowl Goes to Jury Duty
11 Smart Ways to Lower Your Grocery Bill and Eat Healthier
I routinely come to a point of contention with my blogging as Mr. Burrito Bowl. You would think being Mr. Burrito Bowl would be a nonstop tailspin of fun, but I’m a complex and emotional creature. Sometimes I ask, What are we all doing here? I used to wonder if I was writing for myself or my audience. Those were simple times.
Recently I’ve started to delve into the financial independence Twitter community a little bit (hi everyone). I decided that if I wanted my blog to reach more people I should go out and be social by sitting on my couch and interacting with strangers online. This experiment has worked out semi-great. I’ve gained a bunch* of followers on Twitter by being more active and commenting on people’s Tweets.
*Now, when I say ‘a bunch’ that’s relative. I think I have around 500 followers*. This is several hundred more people than should be following me, but some people have like twenty-five thousand. Actual famous people have millions of followers. So, 500 really isn’t a huge amount.
*Now, when I say ‘followers’ I think most of them are following lots of other people. It’s not like I’m their leader. I never wanted to be their leader. In that way I’m like Jon Snow. That’s something, I guess.
Side note: Wow, there are A LOT of Financial Independence bloggers. I knew I wasn't exactly breaking new ground with this blog idea but, there's like 47,000 people on Twitter with some form of the word FI in their name.
Moving on.
So, now I feel like I’m an accepted member of the personal finance/financial independence Twitter community. Which, is there a more nausea-inducing name than that? Excuse me, good sir, are you part of the Financial Independence Community? *Gags softly*
The truth is most of the people in the FI community are just like the people not in the FI community. The difference is, the FI people put more effort into getting a hold of their finances.
A lot of the people blogging on financial topics are in terrible shape financially, and that’s ok. They’re at the beginning of their journey. The important thing is they’ve woken up to the idea that they have agency over their own lives and they can slowly climb out of their financial pit.
Everyone should be doing this; not blogging, but just slowly climbing their way out of the financial pit. This idea is not just for those making killer incomes. You, person reading this, can be better off financially next year than you are right now.
So anyway, now that I have a few more people reading my blog than before, I’m starting to wonder a few things.
I write for many different audiences depending on my mood. The reason it matters is the content can be totally different. I’ve written articles for different audiences. You Might Not Exist- Simulation Theory– this one was for me. 11 Best Ways (For Men) to Tell Which Baby is Yours at Daycare– This one was for the general audience that I want to laugh at my articles and like me more. Redefining Success and Chasing FI- The Boat vs. The Shore– This one was for the general audience that I want to somehow convince that they can save their money and get a hold of their finances. Seven Heroic Ways to Avoid Playing Google’s Nefarious SEO Game– This one was for my new blogger friends.
So in writing these different types of articles I wonder which demographic is most likely to actually read them. I also wonder which demographic is most impacted by my writing. I’ve written some stupid articles that seem to be a real hit with the general public, but I don’t feel like anyone left my page with any new knowledge. I’ve also written some posts that I wish the general public would read, but those seem to go nowhere because they aren’t as funny. It’s hard to make compounding interest funny.
The posts that do really well with the general public are either my funny posts or posts that have pictures of my daughter. Both exciting things, but not really convincing people to better themselves in any way.
My new FI blogger friends are reading some of my articles, but I think they think of me as just the funny guy who writes outlandish posts. Not a bad niche. If I had to pick a niche I’d for sure pick this one. But, there’s more to me. Honest.
The most unsettling question is why am I even doing this at all? I have a need to write and get my feelings out there so this is a very good medium for that. I also have stumbled ass over tea kettle into some financial knowledge, so I’d really like to be able to share that, too. But, I really dislike writing about financial topics. It’s so boring. I’ll write whole articles and the second or third time proofreading them I don’t even want to finish.
How can I expect people who aren’t my mom to read my articles if even I’m bored by them? Is it throwing away free money if you don’t at least contribute up to the employer match on your 401k? Yes. Can I convince you to read an article long enough to learn that? If you are still reading this article, then yes.
I have a need to write absurdity. I cannot help myself. I’ve written two entire books on the sole premise of absurdity. Writing absurd things is what sets me apart.
This is not a cry for people to comment stuff like, “We think you’re really great Mr. Burrito Bowl!” Although appreciated, this is more me wondering what goes through people’s minds when they read my more serious posts. Especially the ones regarding money.
I think all writers wonder this, even if they don’t want to admit it. Do I come across as a rich snob telling less fortunate people how they ought to configure their life if they want to get ahead? Are people disappointed it’s not just a funny article? Are people just confused as to what I’m talking about most of the time?
I’ve always thought blogging was a bit silly. I get having a diary, or writing because it’s cathartic, but the idea of sharing that writing- and asking people to share it so more people can spend part of their day reading your thoughts- is weird. It’s weird and I understand it’s a weird request and I struggle with that.
I feel like writing an article is a bit like making a painting. You did all this work and you just want to show people. I’m not doing the writing because I think I’m better than people and they need to listen to me, and I’m not doing it SO THAT people give me lots of golf claps, but a golf clap or two is nice after the effort.
It’s like when your mom makes you dinner. She’s not making dinner for the praise, but a “Thank you, mom, it was really good,” is nice to hear.
This brings me to another internal struggle. I want to be able to say that I don’t care if people read my articles, because I’m a strong, independent man and I don’t need your approval. But, god it’s a kick to the nuts when I put hours into a post and I hear crickets in response. F-word me. Right, fellow bloggers?
I think it would be weird to not care about how my articles are received but it’s weird to care too much. It’s a real caring tightrope situation.
It’s a constant battle of my own ego. Be authentic and get ignored v. write what people like sharing. I suppose I’d sell out if the price was high enough. But for now I’ll remain authentic even if it means getting ignored.
I have a Facebook page that I invited all my actual Facebook friends to like because I want them to know it exists. I want them to know it exists because I feel like some of them would read it if they knew it was a thing.
It feels like a complete waste of time posting articles to the Facebook page. Really what’s driving my hesitation is I don’t want people I know in real life to see I blog about finances and just make assumptions without ever actually reading my articles.
There are so many people peddling things on Facebook and I don’t want to be one of them. Twitter is less weird because I don’t personally know the people I’m sharing articles with. If things really go South I can just delete my Twitter profile and burn my phone. I’d have to kill a lot of people if I embarrass myself too much with my Facebook posts. Still, it feels weird. I was not made for self-promotion.
What I really want to do is just delete all blog-related social media and just post articles on here whenever it suits my fancy. Then you guys take it from there and make my posts go viral by sharing them because you’re bursting with love and admiration over the effort I’ve put in. For now though, I’ll just keep my social profiles active. It feels like that’s necessary.
Thanks Diary and friends, this has been cathartic.
Well friends, I’ve recently been called upon to serve my country in the most noble way humanly possible, jury duty. Some people were pretty upset to be there, but I enjoyed the whole experience, mostly because I sat there and drew. One old guy was super jazzed about the whole thing. I was kind of half-ass pretending to be excited on Twitter because I thought that would be fun, but this guy really was super excited.
Even though we weren’t all excited, we all showed up. It’s a very big deal that you show up for jury duty, so much so that if you don’t show up they just arrest you instead.
Actually, let me zoom out a little bit.
That’s better. Still not all of us. There was even more than I drew but I didn’t even manage to get arms on a few of the stragglers in the back, so I think this is about the maximum number of stick figures I can draw at one time.
We need to zoom out a little bit more because this picture doesn’t show my favorite juror- excited old guy.
Just look at him. He was even more excited in real life than this makes him look. Oh, right, I should probably label the main characters. No disrespect to any of the jurors present, but for this article the main characters are myself and excited old guy. Every one else was more or less interchangeable, myself included.
Eventually, a lady who we all assume works at the courthouse got up and started telling us all about how patriotic we were for being there under threat of arrest.
She was nice enough, if not a bit long-winded. She also had some pre-holstered jokes you could tell she loved to say to each new group of potential jurors. Most people could take or leave her stand-up routine, except excited old guy. He couldn’t get enough. You’d have thought he was watching a Netflix stand-up special.
His face looked like this most of the time as he nodded and laughed in agreement.
For comparison sake, here were a few other faces.
The first thing we did after her twenty-minute introduction was watch a twenty-minute video that went over basically the same thing she said, but at least it had inspirational music.
The inspirational music was a real kick, because it made it seem like us potential jury duty people were bonafide heroes right up there with firefighters and the military.
After we had all been there approximately an hour and a half, she informed us that 90% of us would soon be leaving through a randomly selected name generator.
Slowly people started to disappear from the drawing as she called names one by one. In real life everybody just sat quietly, but it makes more sense for the cartoon if people disappear after they’re called.
Also, the people who were called actually stayed seated while the people who didn’t get called got up and left. Again, easier for the cartoon to make the picked people disappear. You get the idea.
I was pretty smiley about the whole thing. I decided going in that I kind of hoped I’d get called because it was only like 10am and I planned on taking the whole day off work.
As the names continued to be called I started to get a little nervous. Maybe they weren’t going to call my name at all. But, it was fate. I was live tweeting and everything. Surely they were going to call my name.
Also, they hadn’t called excited old guys name either. Man, I’d be moderately upset if I didn’t get called, but only because I didn’t want to go back to work. Excited old guy would be devastated. Then I started to get nervous for him.
Then, excited old guy got called. He was so happy. I had resigned myself to not getting called but I knew at least this old character of a guy got to have a little fun and make it to round two of his version of American Idol.
With only a couple names left, fate smiled down upon me. I had made it to round two. I’d never been so proud to be randomly selected based on nothing.
Everyone was pretty excited when they weren’t called except this one girl who was sitting next to me. She looked like she didn’t get picked to play kickball at recess. I tried to give her my spot, but that type of generosity is looked down upon in the criminal justice system.
Also of note, in the drawing it looks like most of the people were called, but this is misleading. There were approximately two hundred potential jurors and only eighteen or so of us made it on to round two.
I’m not entirely sure why they made all two hundred of us sit through her jokes and the video only to let most of us leave. Seemed like we could have saved everyones time if they’d have done the random name generator thing, like, I dunno, last week? At least at the beginning of jury duty would be nice. I’m just not used to government efficiency.
Next, we all got up and walked out of that room and headed upstairs.
Excited old guy led the way and- I’m not making this part up- made a thing about doing two steps at a time up the stairs.
I don’t know how he made it a thing, but he did. He was bounding and skipping steps like a kid on a the playground at the first recess of the year. He’s super old though, so instead of bounding like a normal person he did this weird crouch lunge thing.
It was notable that he was somehow still only going the same speed as everyone else who was begrudgingly walking up the stairs one step at a time. I didn’t draw a cartoon for it, but it’s the one image of today that sticks with me the most.
So then we all scrunched in one of two depressing, small rooms. Naturally, I waited to see what room excited old guy was going to pick and went in that one.
At some point we learned that this courthouse only sees misdemeanors. So, any chance of being jurors for the trial of the century were short-lived.
After an incredible amount of time, the first lady came in to tell us the judge was ready to see us. At that point even excited old guy was starting to lose steam. I think he fell asleep at one point, but I might just be assuming things. On the plus side, someone smelled like maple syrup. When people smell in a room that small, it’s usually super negative. In this case, it was quite pleasant.
Keep in mind, we’re not jurors yet.
We are only on round two, which I can only assume was a survivor round. Maybe they figured anyone who didn’t just ask to go to jail instead of waiting any longer in the tiny room was good enough to be a real juror.
Eventually, the first lady came back and told us we were being summoned by the judge. It was pretty exciting to be summoned by a real judge.
So we all got up and filed into the judges room. I don’t know if we were in the judges chambers or not. I think it was just a room the judge happened to be in.
Since I was live tweeting this entire day, I sent one last cryptic tweet just to get everyone excited about the whole future jury duty article.
The judge told us that both cases settled and there was really no need for anyone to have been there at all. We didn’t even get to know what the cases were about. Everyone was real happy, except for the first time all day, excited old guy just looked like an old guy.
I had anticipated his gloom, so as soon as the judge said that both cases had settled, my eyes shot over to him so I could gauge his reaction. He was understandably disappointed, but everyone else was super happy.
We essentially sat around for about four hours until they finally said none of us were needed. Excited old guy was disappointed at first, but he sprang right back to life pretty quickly. Can’t keep a good man down.
Maybe the judge gave him a coupon for a free ice cream or something. I don’t know. I think this might have been the best day of his life. That, or he’s just a super good person who makes the most out of everyday.
I think a good lesson to take away from this whole thing is try to be like excited old guy. We were all stuck at jury duty, but he experienced it through a completely different lens from everyone else. He might have been senile. I like to think he was just happy.
I recently decided I’m done playing Google’s nefarious SEO game. Rank me at the bottom, Google. I will go down with this ship.
We’ve all seen those articles with clickbait titles like 11 Best Ways (For Men) to Tell Which Baby is Yours at Daycare or The 5 Most Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned Shooting Water Up My Nose. These are clearly world class articles from a very brave and astute writer, but are they playing Google’s game a little too well?
It’s time we stop playing Google’s SEO game. We are not pawns, we are people. If you want to join me in obscurity, here are Seven Heroic Ways to Avoid Playing Google’s Nefarious SEO game. #endtheseo Continue reading “Seven Heroic Ways to Avoid Playing Google’s Nefarious SEO Game”
My wife and I have started doing the elimination communication method with Baby Burrito Bowl. It’s basically potty training at an extremely early age. We started with Baby Burrito Bowl when she was two weeks old.
“Why, why would you do that?”- typical response.
We live in Portland, so we have a lot of hippie influences. Also, poop is not a lot of fun. Baby poop is considerably more fun than toddler poop, however. We like that diapers exist because we enjoy the convenience of not having baby shat all over our floors, but we are fearful of the day Baby Burrito Bowl starts to eat solid food. Once that happens her innocent infant defections turn to satanist toddler explosions and I’m not psychologically built for that.
Mrs. Burrito Bowl would like to add that we’re also doing it for environmental reasons. The sooner she gets potty trained the less diapers we’ll use. Using less diapers will not only save us money, but more importantly, save the planet. I’m not sure how it works, but the less diapers that end up in landfills the better.
Fun Fact: Every 100 diapers you save counteracts 1/15 of a second of Al Gore's private jet use. Together we can make a difference.
If you’re unfamiliar with it, the basic idea is you try to read your babies thoughts and facial expressions in an ill-fated attempt to time when they need to use the potty. Once you think you’ve arrived at that magical moment, you hold them over the potty and say, “Psssss…” or make a grunting noise.
Here’s what it looks like in practice:
It doesn’t always work out. Sometimes it looks like this:
She’s gotten a lot better at it, though. So usually it looks like this.
Today it looked like this:
The “Psss…” sound is when you want to signal them to pee and the grunty noise is when you think they need to poop. You hold them against your stomach so they can feel your abs flex when you make the grunting sound. They start to mimic the grunt and it helps them release their poop.
It’s really funny when we grunt and this tiny human mimics with a miniature grunt of her own. That cute little grunt alone is worth the effort, but not dealing with toddler poop is the real prize.
They lead the dance, you just get them to associate the noise.
Eventually you can get them to pee on command. If you’re about to go on a long car ride and really want them to pee beforehand you hold them over the potty and start making “Pssss…” sounds in their ear. Then, they pee. This is obviously great because they won’t spend the next two hours with a wet diaper. Baby is happier and parent is happier. Win-win.
Right? You wouldn’t think it would, but it does. Babies are born being able to control when they release their waste. Leaving them in diapers until they pee or poop trains them to ignore this control. Then, we desperately try to retrain them to listen to their bodies once they reach the age that their poop becomes possessed by demons.
For the most part they naturally wait until they wake up to pee or poop. They don’t usually pee WHILE they’re sleeping. This is a good starting point for knowing when they probably need to go.
We noticed Baby Burrito Bowl would do her thing about 5 minutes after waking up from a nap. If she’d been awake for a while she would also get a little fussy right before she needed to go.
When she was two weeks old we tried it for the first time. She woke up from a nap and I took her diaper off and held her over the potty. As soon as I grunted she sent an explosion of baby poop into the toilet. It was amazing. I’ve never been so happy in a poop-related instance.
It doesn’t always work this well, and we still go through a lot of diapers, but Baby Burrito Bowl knows when we hold her over the potty it’s time to get to work. She still goes in her diaper, especially if we’re not on top of our game, but she goes a significant amount in the potty.
The goal is to get less and less waste in her diaper and more into the potty, until eventually her diapers are always dry.
My sisters did this method with their kids and they were all 80% potty trained by about eight months and 100% potty trained by eighteen months. They were out of diapers completely before most people even begin to think about potty training. Their kids would be running around with pants constantly falling down because they didn’t have the expected bulk of the diapers to help hold them up. It was a hilarious byproduct of the elimination communication method.
Doing the elimination communication method means spending a lot of time grunting in the bathroom while your baby stares off at the wall. For the first while they don’t actually know what the sounds mean. You just have to do it enough times that they associate the sound with the feeling of needing to pee or poop.
Baby Burrito Bowl likes to poop mostly in the mornings. This means when she starts grunting at 6am we can’t just let her fill her diaper while we happily sleep. One of us has to get up and take her to the bathroom and sit with her until she goes.
We are only four months into it but so far we’re really happy with how she’s doing. It’s not entirely a linear progression. Some weeks she does better than others, but overall we all get better and better at it. We get better at reading her and she gets better at communicating that she needs to go.
If you’re thinking about trying the elimination communication method I highly recommend it.
Also, here’s a few more baby related articles, if that’s your thing.
January Recap- Pooping, Crying, and The Baby Did Stuff Too
11 Best Ways (For Men) to Tell Which Baby is Yours at Daycare
Saying Goodbye to the Dink Days-Preparing for Our Baby Girl with FI in Mind
If you’re interested in learning more about the elimination communication method here are a couple other resources:
Also feel free to start a conversation with us on Twitter @MrBurritoBowl
Some people are cheap cocktails, and some people are good whiskey. Cheap cocktails might have whiskey in them, but it’s usually bottom shelf. They need to be dressed up, they need something else added to them. A good whiskey can stand alone.
Good whiskey people have a certain quality to them. You can tell quality when you see it. You can hang your hat on the relationship you have with a good whiskey person and you can always count on them. They are the same today, tomorrow, and next week.
They might not be the life of the party, but they’re solid as oak. You can talk with a good whiskey person for hours and have a better understanding of them, and yourself, at the end of it.
Cheap cocktail people need everything to go right for them to be fun to be around. If they’re missing one ingredient they just aren’t the same, and they’re volatile because of it.
You need a certain amount of energy to be around cocktail people, but if you’re in the mood for it, they can be a lot of fun. It’s hard to get past surface level conversations with cocktail people because they’re hiding behind a mixture of ingredients and they aren’t sure who they really are.
You can talk with them for hours without hearing them say much of anything.
Cocktail people can be a lot of fun as long as you expect them to be cocktail people. We run into trouble when we start expecting good whiskey characteristics from a cocktail person.
If you enjoyed this article please share it with your friends and enemies
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People get very emotional when thinking about dropping their babies off at daycare. Much of this anxiety comes down to the fact that it’s so hard to be certain which baby is yours at the end of the day. Women have a sixth sense about this, but for men it can be very difficult.
All babies look the same, but due to political pressure we pretend this isn’t the case. You can try to memorize what they’re wearing, or even teach them to come when you call a certain name. These are great first steps, but they are one of our most important assets, so we need to be sure. Continue reading “11 Best Ways (For Men) to Tell Which Baby is Yours at Daycare”
