Well, it’s January 3rd. Millions of people woke up today to the cold realization their New Year’s resolutions are toast. We had a good run, but after nearly 48 hours it’s time to officially tap out. It’s clear you won’t be waking up at 5 am in order to practice your Spanish while doing yoga and meditating. Now what?
There’s always next year.
Here are a few tips on what to do with the remaining 363 days of the year.
- Get a jump on next year’s New Year’s resolution by planning meticulously what you’ll one day do. Don’t do it today. The time for making lifelong changes has come and gone but the magic window of self-realization will open once again at the dawn of the new year…in 363 days. Start game-planning now. Next year is just around the corner.
- Make sure next year’s resolution is equally daunting and unattainable. Don’t wuss out by learning from this year’s failure and opting for a more doable New Year’s resolution next year. You might not feel like waking up at 5 am to do Spanish meditation yoga when 2022 rolls around but, hey, you might. If you succeed at an easy New Year’s resolution you’ll really kick yourself for not doing a really hard, unattainable one.
- Try not to think about last year’s New Year’s resolution. Last year, December 31st, 2020, you had a pretty great gameplan. Once the time for the actual doing came though it was just pretty awful. Waking up at 5 am is easy when it’s 8 pm and you’ve had a nice glass of fancy Ten High whiskey. When the alarm rings at 5 am it’s amazing how one remembers they actually wanted to not do yoga at all. Just put all that out of your mind. Thinking about forging a new you does no good when you’re outside of your resolution window. You can start thinking about how to get your life back on track in eleven months. For now, relax!
- Make judgments about other people and their resolutions. This is a big one. It’s not your first rodeo. You’ve successfully failed at a number of New Year’s resolutions which makes you kind of an expert. When you hear of how other people plan to change their lives in drastic ways make sure to give them lots of unsolicited advice. They might not know that their chances of successfully changing the trajectory of their flailing lives stands at almost zero. Before they put too much effort into the whole thing let them know how many times you’ve failed and why they should listen to you about how things probably won’t work out. Believe me, they’ll be glad for your expertise.
That’s all the time we have for today. I would have liked to be a better person this year as well. It’s just not in the cards for us. Next year is coming so for now, we wait.
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