Category: On God

I waffle as to whether this entire section is worth it. On the one hand, I have these thoughts in my brain and it’s nice to get them out. On the other hand, people don’t like their faith being questioned.

One way I feel misinterpreted throughout my On God series is I don’t dislike Christianity. I put belief in the Bible in the same realm that I put belief in aliens. I find it not super likely, but I WANT to believe.

So when I see potential holes in the narrative I feel compelled to point them out. There’s no animosity. It’s similar to how I’d point out the flying saucer looks an awful lot like a trash can lid. I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, but if you want me to believe in aliens I’m going to naturally ask some tough questions.

I clearly don’t fit in with the camp that thinks the Bible is infallible. But, I also don’t line up well with the camp that shows a real hatred for it. Occasionally someone will respond to one of my On God posts with a comment like, “Great post. The Bible is so stupid.” This troubles me greatly as my intention is not to merely pick on the Bible or those who believe it.

My hope isn’t that I convince people to abandon their faith. Rather, I hope to use logic and reason to point out that many things we believe to be true about the Bible are improbable at best, and some are just downright illogical, so we should be very careful when saying “Well, God said…” and letting that dictate national policy. Also, I’d be thrilled if someone was able to show me it’s actually not a trash can lid but a real flying saucer.

If you’re familiar with the On God Series then you know about my conservative Christian upbringing and the qualms I have with a literal interpretation of the Bible. You might wonder why any of this matters. Why not just let people believe in a literal Bible without questioning their beliefs?

It’s a fair question.

I feel many people have never really examined what they actually believe about God. People answer the question of ‘Do you believe in God?’ or ‘Do you believe the Bible is true?’ in yes/no terms. Black and White.

However improbable the stories in the Bible are, skeptics are considered the outcasts. Not believing makes you the weirdo in the room, not the other way around.

If Christians as a whole were a small group who left everyone else alone I’d feel no compulsion to point out any potential holes in the narrative I see. As it is, Christianity is a mega-movement that has an iron-grip on our national discussion.

Fundamentalists believe they have the right to tell gay people they can’t get married because God said so while telling you with a straight face they believe the story of a man being swallowed by a large fish, only to be spit out three days later completely unharmed, actually happened.

They get their morality from a book that’s filled with stories like Judges 19:22-29. So, yeah. I feel compelled to make the argument that maybe this isn’t the book we should use to control other people’s lives. But I don’t hate it, and I see the value the Bible brings to a lot of people’s lives.

Which parts of the Bible are true and how much of it can be demonstrated to be false before our faith crumbles? If it is all just hogwash, wouldn’t we want to know?

Again, it’s not about picking on religion, it’s about the policies those who do believe push. Also, I want to believe.

On God Part XV- Will There Be Free Will in Heaven?

Okay. This question is really fascinating to me for a number of reasons but to really get in on the fun we have to jump inside the Christian bubble and essentially believe everything your standard Christian believes. In other words, it’s not much fun to answer this question with “Of course there won’t be free will in Heaven because God isn’t real and Heaven is not a real thing either hello darkness my old friend, etc.”

To get the most out of this thought experiment we’re pretending that a) God is for sure real and b) Heaven is for sure real and c) the whole Christian story is more or less real. Let’s begin.

Will there be free will in Heaven? You may have never entertained this question before. You might just think the answer is ‘of course’ and leave it at that. To me, it’s a fascinating one that causes a paradox of faith, in some regard. Let’s explore some of the ramifications of this question.

Okay. So why does it matter?

Why didn’t God just take away our free will on earth so that we’d all praise him the appropriate amount and make it into Heaven? From my standpoint I’d prefer to have free will compared to not having free will but I’d really super prefer to not spend eternity writhing in agony. If the whole biblical narrative is correct I think I’d be like, “Hey, God. Go ahead and force me to praise you for these few decades on earth if it will help me avoid endless torment later. That’s fine with me.” But God doesn’t want this because he wants us to “CHOOSE” to praise and love him, not be forced.

I’ve heard it argued that free will is an important part of the way God set everything up because he doesn’t want a bunch of zombie ants praising him because they’re forced to.

free will

He wants real humans praising him of their own volition (lest he cast them into eternal damnation, but that’s getting sidetracked).

free will

Irony. Stop. No. moving on.

So it’s important that free will exists because otherwise, God couldn’t be sure that we really love him. Fine. So for argument’s sake, we’ll say free will is indeed a thing that exists on Earth at the present.

Also, Heaven is a thing that exists.

In Heaven, there is no sin, no suffering, no sickness, etc. It’s just a really great time. This also poses no problem. Moving on, nothing to see here.

Except! No sin in Heaven would mean there’s no free will. Disagree? How can we have free will in Heaven but NOT have the ability to sin? If we cannot sin then we don’t have free will. At least that’s how it works on earth…and also logically. If we don’t have free will then we’re back to being a bunch of zombie ants mindlessly praising God. But he doesn’t want that, which is the whole reason we have free will on earth.

It’s a paradox.

One solution to this is that you CAN sin in heaven, but you’ll quickly be kicked out.

Similar to how Satan and his angels got kicked out of Heaven. 

If we go down this line of thought then we quickly realize it won’t take very long before everyone messes up and subsequently gets kicked out of heaven. If heaven really is as tough to get into as the Bible seems to indicate then there will already be far more souls in Hell than Heaven and if Hell is a one-way pit that you can’t escape and Heaven has a constant trap door under your feet then on a long enough timeline we’ll all wind up in Hell anyway.

I imagine almost no Christian is comfortable with the idea that Heaven is a trap door that we’re almost immediately going to get kicked out of.

If with free will each and every person messes up and sins pretty much immediately—which is the whole reason we need Jesus to come as a sacrifice for our sins—then it would make sense that we’d all mess up and sin in Heaven. But Heaven is supposed to be a sinless place. I’m having trouble rationalizing how we can both have free will in Heaven and have it remain a sinless place.

Another option is that Heaven is indeed a sinless place and once you’re in you don’t get kicked out and we just simply don’t have free will once we’re in heaven.

I think almost every Christian would agree with the first two points a) Heaven is a sinless place and b) once you’re in you can’t get kicked out. I’m guessing most Christians would recoil slightly at the idea that there’s no free will in Heaven.

We like the idea of free will because nobody wants to feel like we’re being forced in praising God. The idea that there is no free will in Heaven is problematic because ostensibly it was very important for God to give us free will so that we could choose whether or not to follow him. So, wouldn’t free will also be important to have in Heaven?

We’re only alive for at most 100 years so it seems odd that it’s super important for free will to be within our cognitive ability for those years but then it to not be important for the next 17,000,324,211,543,125,768,343,002 years. I mean, right?

Option Three: We have free will in Heaven… and we’re allowed to finally sin, guilt-free!! WEEE

The only way to get around the whole conundrum is if God finally just lets us be wild filthy monkeys and sin willy-nilly once we make it inside the Pearly Gates. I mean, sin is kind of just this made-up thing anyway so I suppose God could just decide sin itself no longer exists. Finally, we can do whatever we want and it’s no longer considered a sin. Kind of like how God can just do whatever he wants and it’s not a sin because God did it and God doesn’t sin.

Feel like wiping out the entire human race with a flood because they’re doing this thing you made up called ‘sinning’ too much? No problem. Genocide on a global level is not a problem because you’re God and God is without sin.

This does open a new can of worms. Why would God make such a big deal about sinning on earth only to let the whole thing slide once we get into Heaven?

Free Will on Earth

I’m personally more on the Sam Harris train that we don’t actually have free will at all. It seems like we do. It feels like we have it, but we really don’t. Assuming I’m wrong and we do have free will I don’t see a way for the biblical Heaven and Hell narrative to factor it in unless God is a lot looser with who gets in and he’s more okay with people sinning once inside the gates of Heaven.

My personal belief is that if God is real and Heaven is a thing that exists then he is either letting all of us go to Heaven—because Jesus died to cover all of our sins—or he’s kind of a major dick and created a whole planet of people knowing that a good percentage of them were going to writhe in agony for eternity.

If it is the case that God created a bunch of us knowing that a good percentage would writhe in agony for eternity then I’m comfortable in my belief that he’s not a good God. I think if it’s theoretically possible for God to exist in our universe (or outside of it…however you want to picture it is fine) then I think there is no guarantee that the God of our universe is good.

If he’s sending people to Hell, he’s not good. He’s a dick. That being said, I don’t think God is a dick. So, I don’t lose sleep over the idea of free will in Heaven because I think if God is real at all then he’s probably a good guy and a good guy wouldn’t send everyone who doesn’t praise him to hell.

Then again, a good guy wouldn’t care if people praised him. What kind of a narcissist would even want that? I’m really hoping people completely obliterated the intended word of God because if God is anything like we’ve been taught he’s got some serious little man syndrome and could probably have used a brother or sister to play with so he didn’t grow up thinking he was the only thing that mattered.

So what do you think? Is there going to be free will in heaven? If so, can you get kicked out? Is there something about this paradox that I’m missing?

On God Part XIII- Miracles in the Bible

It’s been a while since I’ve published any posts. Sorry. Anyway, here’s a post about God.

People don’t appreciate biblical miracles nearly enough. Living during Bible times must have been a whole lot of fun. Examples include: People lived to be 900 years old, water was frequently walked on and/or turned to wine, and people sometimes got swallowed by a large fish.

It. Was. Wild. Continue reading “On God Part XIII- Miracles in the Bible”

On God Part XII- Dinosaurs and the Literal Bible

[This part is an attempt at an explanation as to why I feel compelled to write these posts. If you’re not interested in the ‘why’ just skip ahead to the actual article.]

I waffle as to whether this entire section is worth it. On the one hand, I have these thoughts in my brain and it’s nice to get them out. On the other hand, people don’t like their faith being questioned.

One way I feel misinterpreted throughout my On God series is I don’t dislike Christianity. I put belief in the Bible in the same realm that I put belief in aliens. I find it not super likely, but I WANT to believe.

So when I see potential holes in the narrative I feel compelled to point them out. There’s no animosity. It’s similar to how I’d point out the flying saucer looks an awful lot like a trash can lid. I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, but if you want me to believe in aliens I’m going to naturally ask some tough questions.

I clearly don’t fit in with the camp that thinks the Bible is infallible. But, I also don’t line up well with the camp that shows a real hatred for it. Occasionally someone will respond to one of my On God posts with a comment like, “Great post. The Bible is so stupid.” This troubles me greatly as my intention is not to merely pick on the Bible or those who believe it.

My hope isn’t that I convince people to abandon their faith. Rather, I hope to use logic and reason to point out that many things we believe to be true about the Bible are improbable at best, and some are just downright illogical, so we should be very careful when saying “Well, God said…” and letting that dictate national policy. Also, I’d be thrilled if someone was able to show me it’s actually not a trash can lid but a real flying saucer.

If you’re familiar with the On God Series then you know about my conservative Christian upbringing and the qualms I have with a literal interpretation of the Bible. You might wonder why any of this matters. Why not just let people believe in a literal Bible without questioning their beliefs?

It’s a fair question.

I feel many people have never really examined what they actually believe about God. People answer the question of ‘Do you believe in God?’ or ‘Do you believe the Bible is true?’ in yes/no terms. Black and White.

However improbable the stories in the Bible are, skeptics are considered the outcasts. Not believing makes you the weirdo in the room, not the other way around.

If Christians as a whole were a small group who left everyone else alone I’d feel no compulsion to point out any potential holes in the narrative I see. As it is, Christianity is a mega-movement that has an iron-grip on our national discussion.

Fundamentalists believe they have the right to tell gay people they can’t get married because God said so while telling you with a straight face they believe the story of a man being swallowed by a large fish, only to be spit out three days later completely unharmed, actually happened.

They get their morality from a book that’s filled with stories like Judges 19:22-29. So, yeah. I feel compelled to make the argument that maybe this isn’t the book we should use to control other people’s lives. But I don’t hate it, and I see the value the Bible brings to a lot of people’s lives.

Which parts of the Bible are true and how much of it can be demonstrated to be false before our faith crumbles? If it is all just hogwash, wouldn’t we want to know?

Again, it’s not about picking on religion, it’s about the policies those who do believe push. Also, I want to believe.

Today I ask, “What about the dinosaurs.”

Why doesn’t the Bible ever talk about Dinosaurs? It might seem like the type of question a five-year-old asks but this 33-year-old would also like to know. If you think this question is of little relevance, well, keep reading. Continue reading “On God Part XII- Dinosaurs and the Literal Bible”

On God Part XI- God Kicks Satan out of Heaven

This one is real cute, you guys. I realize making Satan an endearing character is probably somewhere on the blasphemy scale but after seeing these drawings I don’t think God could be mad.

Today I want to talk about that one time Satan got kicked out of heaven. It was a big deal. Satan’s like the worst person ever and God is the best person, so it makes a lot of sense that the two couldn’t be roommates forever. But… Continue reading “On God Part XI- God Kicks Satan out of Heaven”

On God Part X- What if Fundamentalist Christians are Right?!

I recently put two and two together that this whole On God series is just me working through a lot of deep-seated religion-induced trauma. So, don’t mind me. I’ll just be over here making cartoons as a coping mechanism.

This is essentially my form of therapy and it’s just more fun when other people can get some enjoyment out of it. But also, I think a lot of people have similar mixed feelings about religion. Yeah, it’s a good thing in many ways, but man, there are some real negatives. Anyway. I hope you enjoy.

The Age of the Earth, colorized

Christians hold a lot of beliefs that non-Christians don’t. Many of them are mundane and don’t garner a lot of attention. One of these discrepancies is how differently scientists and Christians estimate the age of the Earth.

Science says the Earth is 4.543 billion years old. Christians say it’s around 7,000 years old.

Someone is wrong, right?

I had this sudden thought occur to me while thinking about just how wrong one camp has to be:

What if the fundamentalist Christians are right?

Continue reading “On God Part X- What if Fundamentalist Christians are Right?!”

On God Part IX- How many Worlds Did God Create?

Happy New Year! Unanswerable questions are going to be really in style in 2020 so let’s get a jump on things by talking about what lies beyond our home planet. I’m small-child-at-Disney-world levels of excited about Space. Space is both huge and great. It’s so vast that if Earth was the size of a grain of sand Space would still be really big. I’m not very good with words. Let’s draw some pictures.

Continue reading “On God Part IX- How many Worlds Did God Create?”

On God Part VIII- Pascal’s Wager

Today I want to talk about Pascal’s wager. If you’re unfamiliar, the basic idea is this: God either exists, or he doesn’t. As humans, we have to place a bet on whichever option we think is most likely to yield the best result- Atheism or Christianity. Choose wisely.

Pascal reasons, if Christians are wrong about God then nothing happens when they die. The lights turn off and they’re none the wiser. No harm, no foul. If atheists are wrong, however, they spend eternity in hell. The best possible case for atheists- nothing happens when they die- is the worst possible case for Christians. Given this, it makes sense to hedge your bet and be a Christian. Continue reading “On God Part VIII- Pascal’s Wager”

On God Part VI-Does Prayer have the Power

I’m genuinely undecided on the idea of prayer. Much like the existence of God, there is no direct proof that prayer helps those we’re praying for. There’s anecdotal evidence up the wazoo- someone, somewhere knows someone who was near death but someone prayed for them and they were healed- but there’s no direct evidence.

Many of us are tempted to call the example above direct evidence, but it’s not a fair comparison because the opposite is not also true. When someone is near death and we pray for them and they aren’t healed, we don’t count that as evidence that prayer doesn’t work. This sets up a situation where any positive evidence is counted while all negative evidence is thrown out.

Continue reading “On God Part VI-Does Prayer have the Power”