Are You Proud of Yourself? 

Just in general.  If you’re not right now, I hope you will be by the end of this article.  Being proud of myself has always been a little bit of a struggle.  I wanted to celebrate my accomplishments, but I didn’t want to come across as boastful.  

It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I am proud of myself and I feel good about it.  I used to feel a slight twinge of guilt start to creep in when I would contemplate self-pride.  I was raised to not be boastful.  The phrase “Pride cometh before a fall,” was etched into my subconscious from an early age.  Because of this I always had a knee jerk reaction against being overly proud of myself.  

The more I thought about it the more I realized I was conflating being prideful with being proud.  I don’t think I’m alone in that.  Nobody likes the guy who walks around the office poking his thumbs into his chest talking about how he’s the best.  I think we’re all in agreement that that guy’s a douche.  Most of us don’t want to come across as being prideful, but is it ok to be proud of yourself?

I’m Proud of Myself.

I’m proud of my alter-ego Mr. Burrito Bowl.  I’m proud that I keep writing articles even though some days it feels like I’m in a dark, empty room, hollering about saving money to no one in particular.  Other days I go on Twitter and see there are literally hundreds of FI bloggers just like me.  On those days I feel like I’m in a crowded—albeit well lit—room hollering about saving money along with several hundred other bloggers all hollering basically the same thing.  Neither of those days are particularly motivating.  Still, I continue to write.  

On the really good days, someone will share my article out of the blue or message me to tell me that something I wrote made a difference in their life.  Those are the days where writing is easy.  Speaking of being proud of myself, I was mostly done with this article and my computer screen froze up and the article didn’t save.  I’m rewriting it now.  I don’t want to, but I am.  I’m proud of myself for pushing through. 

I vote it’s ok to be proud of yourself for both your big and small accomplishments.  

I will go so far as to say it’s imperative to a healthy outlook on life. 

Are You Proud of You?

So, again, are you proud of yourself?  We allow ourselves to gush with pride over our kids, our friends, our dog, etc.  It’s ok to be proud of anything and everything else.  When it comes to ourselves we’re often mute on the subject.  

Everyone has something to be proud of but we’re afraid to allow ourselves that pat on the back.  Is it the fear we’ll be seen as boastful that holds our self-pride down?  Do we see boastful people running around and think if we’re happy with ourselves we’ll be just like them?

Being Proud of Yourself Isn’t About Bragging to Others

You don’t have to feel guilty about being proud of yourself.  It’s completely different than going around showboating or telling the world how you’re the greatest thing since low-cost index funds.

So maybe now you’re ok with being proud of yourself but you don’t feel like you’re anything special. Low self-esteem is a real bugger and it can strike any of us. I know people that are hilarious, beautiful, make great money, and have tons of friends but they somehow have low self-esteem.  

They aren’t allowing themselves to be proud of who they are and what they’ve accomplished. They think if they are negative about themselves it will keep the bullies at bay. If they tell the world they are fat or ugly or nothing special maybe nobody will be mean and try to cut them down.  

This is nonsense. It’s ok to be proud of yourself. There are bullies everywhere but bullies are just regular people who don’t have the self-pride to just be nice. Generally speaking, bullies are insecure and they attempt to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Their mean remarks are really just a reflection of how they feel about themselves.  

Still, a cutting remark is hard for me to ignore.  It takes a healthy outlook on life to realize when someone is being mean it has more to do with them and less to do with you.

The truth is nobody will be meaner to you just because you’re confident and proud of yourself. In fact, people will be nicer to you because you won’t be such an easy target for ridicule. Unfortunately, humans suck. It’s those with the lowest self-esteem that tend to be the targets for bullies.

Why You Should Be Proud of Yourself

You need to practice being proud of yourself because, number one, it’s better for your own mental health.  It’s a real drag to constantly be hanging your head in shame.

Secondly, people are watching you.  People look up to you and watch how you interact with the world.  This is especially true if you have kids.  You never know when some clueless kid is going to look up to you and if you act like a sad sack then that poor kid will think he’s just a sad sack too. It’s kind of a selfish move on your part when you think about it. Even if you don’t have kids, you never know when someone is looking up to you.

If you’re constantly giving off the impression that you’re nothing special and you don’t deserve to be loved, happy, healthy, etc., then people are going to see that.

Treat yourself like you want your kids to be treated.

How to be Proud of Yourself

So we’re all on the same page.  It’s critical that you’re proud of yourself.  Now then, what can you do to turn the tide and start believing that you’re someone to be proud of?

First, Give Yourself Permission to be Proud. 

Treat yourself like you want those you love to be treated.  If you wouldn’t want some random person calling your kid ugly or fat or worthless why would you call yourself those things? Your kids will pick up on that and they’ll adopt the same self-worth that you portray.

Step out of your own body and think about how you’d view yourself if you were someone else. Think about the struggles you’ve had and overcome. You’re pretty resilient. Give yourself some credit.  

Second, Forgive Yourself for the Parts of Your Personality You Wish to Improve

Self-pride can be an uphill battle because we know all of the dark secrets we keep. We know of all the times we’ve cut corners or did something we aren’t proud of. We know that we sometimes pick our nose.

The weight of that can be enough to keep even the most positive people down in the dumps.  You’ve probably done some really questionable things in your life, everyone has. You’re not doing the world any favors by dwelling on it and beating yourself up over and over.  

Third, Start Being the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are…

…or your kid.  Whichever hits home for you.  Chances are, either a dog or a kid thinks you’re pretty great at life.  If you’re someone who has low self-esteem because you’re out of shape, start working out.  Sometimes people don’t want to start a self-improvement project because they see how long it will take and they get discouraged. 

The goal isn’t to finish the project of becoming a better person, the goal is to start the project new every day.  

Fourth, Be Proud of Other People. 

Let them know that you’re proud of them and why.  You don’t have to be cheesy or literally say, “Excuse me, I’m proud of you.”  But you can notice things about them that they’re doing well and let them know that you notice.

The kinder you are to other people the kinder they’ll be to you. Who knows, you might just start this tornado of positivity, but not a weirdo tornado of throw-up inducing positivity. Just a regular one.  

We feel good after receiving a compliment because someone noticed something about us that we already feel but are too self-loathing to articulate. 

You can give yourself a compliment anytime you want.  It’s like magic.  It’s also kind of like tickling yourself, it doesn’t work as well as someone else complimenting you, but it’s better than nothing.  In fact, that can be our new slogan.

“Be Proud of Yourself, It’s Better Than Nothing.”

As asinine as it sounds, it really does work to tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself.  It won’t feel quite as good as when someone else says it, but it will still feel good.  When my wife was pregnant I would tell her how proud I am that she keeps going to the gym. I think she’s a real inspirational figure.

I happen to not be super pregnant, but I’m still proud of myself for going to the gym. Once I started telling myself that I was proud of myself for going to the gym I felt pretty good. I started telling myself I was proud of myself for all sorts of dumb stuff.  It feels great. You should try it.  

In closing, stop being so negative about yourself.  You’re pretty great.  

Here are a few other articles you might be interested in.

1. How to Live Life One Old Kodak Slide at a Time
2. Being There- How to Enjoy the Now
3. In a World Full of Plants…Be a Weed