On God Part XII- Dinosaurs and the Literal Bible

[This part is an attempt at an explanation as to why I feel compelled to write these posts. If you’re not interested in the ‘why’ just skip ahead to the actual article.]

I waffle as to whether this entire section is worth it. On the one hand, I have these thoughts in my brain and it’s nice to get them out. On the other hand, people don’t like their faith being questioned.

One way I feel misinterpreted throughout my On God series is I don’t dislike Christianity. I put belief in the Bible in the same realm that I put belief in aliens. I find it not super likely, but I WANT to believe.

So when I see potential holes in the narrative I feel compelled to point them out. There’s no animosity. It’s similar to how I’d point out the flying saucer looks an awful lot like a trash can lid. I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, but if you want me to believe in aliens I’m going to naturally ask some tough questions.

I clearly don’t fit in with the camp that thinks the Bible is infallible. But, I also don’t line up well with the camp that shows a real hatred for it. Occasionally someone will respond to one of my On God posts with a comment like, “Great post. The Bible is so stupid.” This troubles me greatly as my intention is not to merely pick on the Bible or those who believe it.

My hope isn’t that I convince people to abandon their faith. Rather, I hope to use logic and reason to point out that many things we believe to be true about the Bible are improbable at best, and some are just downright illogical, so we should be very careful when saying “Well, God said…” and letting that dictate national policy. Also, I’d be thrilled if someone was able to show me it’s actually not a trash can lid but a real flying saucer.

If you’re familiar with the On God Series then you know about my conservative Christian upbringing and the qualms I have with a literal interpretation of the Bible. You might wonder why any of this matters. Why not just let people believe in a literal Bible without questioning their beliefs?

It’s a fair question.

I feel many people have never really examined what they actually believe about God. People answer the question of ‘Do you believe in God?’ or ‘Do you believe the Bible is true?’ in yes/no terms. Black and White.

However improbable the stories in the Bible are, skeptics are considered the outcasts. Not believing makes you the weirdo in the room, not the other way around.

If Christians as a whole were a small group who left everyone else alone I’d feel no compulsion to point out any potential holes in the narrative I see. As it is, Christianity is a mega-movement that has an iron-grip on our national discussion.

Fundamentalists believe they have the right to tell gay people they can’t get married because God said so while telling you with a straight face they believe the story of a man being swallowed by a large fish, only to be spit out three days later completely unharmed, actually happened.

They get their morality from a book that’s filled with stories like Judges 19:22-29. So, yeah. I feel compelled to make the argument that maybe this isn’t the book we should use to control other people’s lives. But I don’t hate it, and I see the value the Bible brings to a lot of people’s lives.

Which parts of the Bible are true and how much of it can be demonstrated to be false before our faith crumbles? If it is all just hogwash, wouldn’t we want to know?

Again, it’s not about picking on religion, it’s about the policies those who do believe push. Also, I want to believe.

Today I ask, “What about the dinosaurs.”

Dinosaurs

Why doesn’t the Bible ever talk about Dinosaurs? It might seem like the type of question a five-year-old asks but this 33-year-old would also like to know. If you think this question is of little relevance, well, keep reading.

I hear all the time about how the Bible goes back to the beginning of time. Genesis tells us the story of creation. As a good American, you can believe the creation story is true because the Bible says it’s true. Case closed.

But the Bible doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in and around secular history. Sometimes it’s hard to make secular history and biblical history line up. Case in point, dinosaurs.

So what about the dinosaurs?!

If you’re a non-believer the answer to why the dinosaurs don’t enter into the biblical narrative is because they died out around 65 million years before biblical times started. Sounds plausible.

However, many Christians believe the idea that dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago is hilarious since the Bible clearly goes through the generations from Adam—first human; arrived on the scene during the formation of the actual world—all the way to Jesus. We know Jesus lived around 2,000 years ago. Therefore, there’s really no room for the Earth to be much older than around seven thousand years old.

That’s all fine and great.

Then in 1677 Robert Plate discovered the first dinosaur bone but it wasn’t correctly identified until the early 1800s. So now young Earth Christians are forced to deal with the question of what’s really going on with the whole dinosaur thing.

Except, a lot of them don’t deal with that question at all. “What’s going on with the dinosaurs?” is sectioned off in a different part of the brain. The Bible is in the faith realm. Dinosaurs are a fun archaeological thing. The two need not ever cross paths.

But can the two live harmoniously with each other?

The Three Dinosaur Options

As far as I can see, there are three possibilities to explain the dinosaurs. I’m sure there are other theories, these three just necessitate the least amount of mental gymnastics.

Option one: Dinosaurs are made up.

They just don’t exist. It might be the devil playing a trick on us or maybe science is up to more of its fuckery. Either way, dinosaurs aren’t real things that really walked the Earth.

If this is the case—and all the other reasons a young Earth is improbable also turn out to be false—then it’s totally plausible that the Earth really IS as young as the Bible seems to indicate that it is.

I find this option pretty unlikely. You have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to get to the point where you can say with a straight face that Satan planted dinosaurs in the ground in order to lead us astray.

To their credit, most Christians don’t seem to have a problem with dinosaurs existing. But, I wonder how much of that has to do with them never wrestling with what it means for their faith if dinosaurs really did exist.

Option two: Dinosaurs lived during Biblical times, the Bible just didn’t mention them.

Maybe the Earth really is only around 7,000 years old AND ALSO dinosaurs are real. For this to be true, dinosaurs would have been around during biblical times, the authors of the Bible just happened to not mention them.

If this were the case then, man, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when the authors were telling people not to braid their hair while a T-rex was rampaging through the village. Sorry, T-rex, you just weren’t interesting enough to make it into the final text.

Dinosaurs

Dinosaurs

For this to be true, not only would biblical authors have to have all agreed to not mention the enormous reptiles creating havoc all around them, but every other historical author would have had to do the same.

Also, how did they fit the dinosaurs on the Ark? If you thought it was tough getting the air temperature adjusted to allow polar bears and rhinos to exist on the same boat imagine trying to fit a brachiosaurus between them.

Dinosaurs

This option seems even more far-fetched than option one.

Option 2-b:Since it seems incredibly implausible, even by biblical standards, that dinosaurs were on the Ark maybe that's when they all died. Dinosaurs existed until the flood of Noah, at which point they all died. 

Many believers hold this as their 'get out of jail free' card. Ha, dinosaurs DID exist and the Bible is still true. Flood of Noah. Boom. 

Except, what about all the aquatic dinosaurs? If this is how the land dinosaurs all died you'd expect the aquatic dinosaurs to have survived the flood. 

If the aquatic dinosaurs were unable to survive the flood then how did so many modern sea creatures survive?

Of course if the flood really happened you'd expect to see whale carcasus in, say, Nebraska, being trapped inland when the waters recedeeded but that's neither here nor there.

Okay. So assuming dinosaurs and humans didn’t exist at the same time, and assuming dinosaurs aren’t a trick of the devil/scientific community, that leaves only option three.

Option Three: Dinosaurs existed before biblical times.

Now, listen. I realize this is the only answer that makes any logical sense. Dinosaurs most likely existed before humans. To the non-believer, this is not only obvious but also not even a big deal.

For believers, though, something has to give. If dinosaurs existed before humans then the creation story of Genesis is false insofar as it doesn’t actually portray the beginning of time. Which, is kind of a big part of the story.

Options one and two are so ridiculous they hardly warrant mentioning. Except, a lot of people just don’t believe option three.

If the story of Genesis isn’t totally accurate then it opens a whole can of worms. Maybe other parts of the Bible aren’t factually true either. If THAT’S true then maybe women should be allowed to speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34) and the gays can even get married.

See why this matters?

The Bible is a liferaft that helps people navigate this weird existence known as life. But, it also has some questionable teachings.

If people want to dictate policy based on the Bible then the Bible should probably line up with common sense. If it doesn’t, then I want to know why. Maybe there’s a fourth option that I’m not thinking about, but it seems to me that these are the only three options. Either, dinosaurs never existed, they existed during biblical times, or they existed before biblical times.

Pick your poison. The only option that doesn’t raise a red flag to the validity of the Bible is option one, dinosaurs never existed. Any other option creates chaos for a biblical literalist.

If the Bible is true, explain dinosaurs. There seems to be no way of believing in both dinosaurs and a literal Bible unless we just completely let go of any pretense of reason.

If it’s divinely inspired then the entire thing should line up with secular history. But, it doesn’t. So how can it be written by God? If it isn’t written by God then maybe we should stop letting it dictate our political policies.

So, what do you think? Is the existence of dinosaurs incompatible with the Bible being divinely inspired? Which option is most likely true?

If you enjoyed this article please share it because the On God series is my favorite thing to write about but people are weird about sharing articles that openly question the Bible.

Here are a few more articles while you’re here.

On God Part XI- God Kicks Satan out of Heaven

19 Pretty Good Coronavirus Safety Tips for Humans

How to Participate in the American Election Without Being a Complete Dick

Author: MrBurritoBowl

Mr. Burrito Bowl is a 34-year-old man from Whitefish, Montana who likes to draw stick figures and say things that sometimes relate to finances, but not always.

One thought on “On God Part XII- Dinosaurs and the Literal Bible”

  1. I go option 3 myself. Going by the text the fifth day covered water and air creatures. The sixth day started with land creatures and then humans were made. For me, being in the interpretative camp but still actually buying into the bible, I’m figuring a day is a lot longer than 24 hours and I view the end of Genesis 1:25 as an indication of a long time between the land animals and humans showing up.

Go on, leave a comment...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.