“The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”- Marcus Aurelius Meditations Book 5.20
Despite Satan’s best effort the year of our Lord 2020 is officially over. As we go into the new year I’m thinking of one of my favorite teachings of Stoicism— the obstacle is the way.
2020 was a shitstorm of poop. 2021 isn’t guaranteed to be any better. If you feel defeated and exhausted from the past year, try this mental reframe—Every obstacle you encounter is a chance to better yourself as a human.
When someone mistreats you it’s a chance to practice forgiveness. If it’s snowy and you have to shovel the sidewalk it’s a chance to practice fortitude. If you’re lonely it’s a chance to practice keeping yourself company.
We know that 90% of any battle we face in life happens between our ears. When bad things happen to you don’t think of how wrong it is for you to encounter this hardship, think of how much better of a human you’ll be for having overcome.
The year is fresh and new and relatively few horrible things have happened so far. Bad things will happen. When something unpleasant happens in your life face it head-on and learn from it. It’s still going to suck to go through hardship, but by changing your mindset you can see the positives in your struggle instead of only the negatives.
Lower your expectations.
Know that things will go wrong. People will fail you. You’ll fall short of your ideal self. Your tire will go flat. Expect it to happen. When things do go wrong, you won’t be caught off guard.
Most of our suffering is due to something unexpectedly going wrong. If you knew your tire was going flat at some point during your commute you’d be irritated but not nearly as much as if it went flat suddenly with no warning. You can’t snuff out all pain but you can greatly diminish it by expecting it and being ready for it.
Build up your internal resiliency. Don’t run from trouble or hardship. Put yourself out there and see what you can do. Sit in the cold.
This doesn’t mean we’re going to be happy when we encounter obstacles. I’ll almost certainly be irritated when an obstacle blocks me from where I wanted to go. But I don’t need to remain there. I can take a deep breath and remind myself the obstacle is the way.
Happy 2021! Hopefully a lot goes wrong for you this year and you’re better for it.
If you enjoyed this article please share it with your friends and neighbors. But if you don’t share it, that’s okay. I’ve lowered my expectations and look forward to overcoming the obstacle of wondering why nobody reads this blog.
The Daily Struggle for Happiness
It’s Only Heavy if You Pick it Up
How to Recharge Your Life Battery Through Stoicism
Did you know? Sharing this will make you happy!
