What kind of person are you? 

The question itself is kind of ridiculous because it assumes the type of person you are is fixed.  We always describe ourselves in fixed ways.  I’m not very good at math or I have terrible handwriting or I’m unorganized.  These characteristics feel like they’re written in stone.  They feel fixed like there is no way to change them.

Really our characteristics are more carved in a glacier than they are carved in stone.  The ice is constantly changing but the change feels so slow that we often don’t recognize it.  If we change the way we view the question then we can change the type of person we view ourselves to be.  

I’m the type of person who…

The way the sentence ends changes depending on where you are in your life.  Change is often so slow that we think of ourselves as stagnant but we’re continually changing.

I’m the type of person who is always out of shape. 

That may be true for you for the last few years but it wasn’t always true, and it may not be true in the future.   The statement I’m the type of person who is CURRENTLY out of shape can be true but not the statement I’m the type of person who is ALWAYS out of shape.  At its core you know the statement is false because all it would take for that statement to no longer be true is for you to get in shape. Whether or not you are currently in shape is irrelevant.  The statement is false because it supposes you will always be out of shape and cannot change that fact. 

The truth is even if you’ve been out of shape your entire adult life you can still get in shape.  Getting in shape will take time and be hard, but it’s possible.  It won’t happen overnight.  It will be painfully slow, at first.  These glacially slow changes trick us into a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.  What we believe about ourselves ends up being true. 

I’ve ALWAYS been out of shape and therefore I always WILL be out of shape.

I’m the type of person who won’t ever be successful. 

In your limited view of your own life you feel you’ve never been successful. This doubt in your abilities can lead you to tell yourself the story that you won’t ever be successful, whatever that means. 

Somehow during your years of not being successful you learned to read and write, do algebra, drive a car, and a few of us have even learned to not spend all our money before we earn it.  These are all successful characteristics that we’ve learned and conquered but when it comes to success we tend to focus on what we haven’t achieved. 

You’ve successfully gone from being a drunk toddler spilling milk on your belly and drooling to being able to more or less function perfectly in a complex modern society.  Why is it so out of the realm of possibilities that you could also find success professionally or financially?  

We all have these limiting beliefs we tell ourselves. 

I’m the type of person who isn’t successful, can’t get in shape, won’t stay motivated, etc.  I’ve felt that about myself when it comes to earning money.  I don’t feel like I have a particular skill set that sets me apart so I worry I won’t ever be successful.  That’s a limiting belief because I could learn the skillsets that would set me apart.  I don’t have to stay in the pack of mediocrity as far as earnings.  I can learn the skills needed to rise above the pack.  

Whatever your limiting belief is, you don’t have to stay that type of person.  Not only that, but you naturally WON’T stay that type of person.  You change a little everyday.  Success is making small changes to pick up the pace of that glacier of change and make it more like a river.

I’m the type of person who…can change

The first step is realizing you aren’t fixed and have the ability to change.  If you want to be the type of person who does a certain task start telling yourself you ARE that type of person. You are whatever you believe you are.  It sounds silly and will feel dumb the first few times you do it. Honestly, it will feel dumb for a long time.  Just keep saying it.  

If you’ve always been the type of person who has a messy house, understand that a messy house is not a character trait that you can’t overcome.  Start telling yourself, “I’m the type of person who has a clean house.”  At first the statement will ring completely false because it is.  You DON’T have a clean house.

Keep telling yourself “I’m the type of person who has a clean house.”  Then, clean your house.  If you feel like you are the type of person who doesn’t actually get around to cleaning your house say, “I’m the type of person who actually cleans my house.”  See how fun that is?  

Clean a little bit at a time.  Clean one shelf if that’s all you can muster.  Just get started.  You don’t have to clean your entire house for the exercise to be a success.  You just have to be a little further down the glacier than you were before.  If you made the awkward step of telling yourself that you’re the type of person who keeps a clean house then you’ve made an improvement. You are a success! High-five.

Failure is Success.   

Most people try to avoid failure at all costs, myself included.  We all have that tendency in us.  It’s unfortunate that humans try to avoid failure because we learn the most when we fail.  Failure is not a bad thing.  Often the greatest, and quickest, improvements we make happen directly AFTER we fail.  Failure is the jolt we need to get us to reach success.  

Hire a professional cleaner if the project is overwhelming.  Then, watch yourself and how you treat your freshly cleaned house.  Repeat to yourself that you are the type of person who keeps a clean house.  

You’ll get home and change out of your work clothes and your initial response will be to throw the clothes on the floor, like usual.  Except this time you have a clean floor and you’ll be saying to yourself, “I’m the type of person who keeps a clean house.”  Because you’ve already started telling yourself you’re the type of person keeps a clean house, you put your clothes away.  A house doesn’t get messy in one avalanche, it gets messy one unorganized item at a time.

Getting started.

Think about what you want to accomplish. Notice how you react when thinking about the journey to get there.  There will, most likely, be something about the task that you don’t like because if it were 100% enjoyable you’d already be doing it.  Embrace the shitty aspects of it and know that the unpleasant part is temporary.  

Maybe you’re out of shape and feel you always have been.  First of all, you haven’t.  I bet when you were a kid you ran around all day and were generally much more active.  You may currently be in a long season of life where you’re out of shape, but that isn’t fixed.

You’re already reading an article about changing.  Congratulations on being one step further than you were yesterday.  You have the power to not only read an article but to make a change.  A voice of limiting belief might creep in and say, “That’s all well and good but what’s the difference between you today and you yesterday? You’re not the type of person who actually puts things into action.”

The difference is the you of today just read an article about making changes.  The you of today is a bad ass motherf*cker who gets shit done.  Yesterday it was just you.  Today you have the kick in the pants knowing that today is the day that you WILL change.  You know that YOU have the power to change your own life.  Maybe you were just waiting for somebody to give you permission to make the change you’ve been wanting to make.

By the power of the internet I hereby grant you the permission needed to change your own destiny.

Start small by telling yourself, “I’m the type of person who exercises and eats a little healthier than I used to.”   Now, do something you wouldn’t have done yesterday.  Go for a walk.  Do a few standing air squats.  Do a session of Wim Hof Breathing.  

If you’ve always been meaning to put your finances in order, start that today.  Start it right now.  Open up a Vanguard account, see where you can save some money, start building up an emergency fund.    You’ve been meaning to do it, start now.

Change is Hard but Routines are Easy

Any change is hard at first.  The great thing about the human condition is the more you do something the more enjoyable it becomes.  I’m currently in good shape so exercise is fun for me.  The more I do it the more fun it becomes.  Weights that I used to struggle with now go up with ease and my muscles look better than they used to.  The more I exercise the better I feel.

I haven’t always felt this way.  I’ve gone long periods without exercising where getting back in the gym was hard.  I couldn’t lift as much as I used to and I didn’t feel as good.  It’s discouraging trying to make a change.  Once you make a change into a routine it becomes much easier.   Now, I enjoy going to the gym.  You can feel that same way.  It will be hard to start but if you keep showing up and keep trying then you’ll get there.

It doesn’t have to be exercise.  Your change might be learning an instrument, getting control of your finances, or managing the stress in your life.  Find the area of your life that you want to improve and start telling yourself that you’re the type of person who can change.

“Everyday will feel like you’re getting kicked in the teeth…”

When I was interviewing to work for DR Horton my eventual boss told me the job would be really shitty to start.  He said, “Everyday it will feel like you’re getting kicked in the teeth.  Most people quit.  If you show up everyday and keep at it, it gets easier.”  That’s how change is.  You can’t expect it to be easy.  You have to accept that it’s going to be a dog fight because you’re trying to make a change and change is hard.

Once you see yourself improve different aspects of your life you see the similarities between any improvements.  The first improvements are harder than the next set of improvements.  If you go from out of shape to in shape you see what it took to get there and it becomes easier to go from unorganized to organized or to go from someone who doesn’t read books to someone who does.  Once you start making the grooves in your brain for improvement all improvement becomes easier.

Any positive motion moves you a little further down the path to success than you were yesterday. Don’t get discouraged by the slow process.  Your life isn’t written in stone.  You are a glacier of painfully slow improvement. Embrace the slow cold pain.

Wasn’t that motivating and not at all corny?! Great! Glad you enjoyed it.  Please share it with your friends and enemies if you really enjoyed it that much.

Here’s a few more articles I think you’ll like, since you’re on such a roll.

1. The Burrito Bowl’s Go to Walmart- The Untold True Story
2. Pay off Your Credit Card, Kid
3. How Investment Fees Are Decimating Your Portfolio