unsolicited advice on health, happiness and how to not be a dummy with finances
This was going to be an April update on our lives but mostly we’ve just gone on walks and read children’s books over and over. We also watched Netflix and enjoyed moving our family several states over. So, not a whole bunch to talk about. Come along, I’ll tell you all about it.
Continue reading “Choosing Family Over Finances Part V- Moving During a Pandemic”
Well, March has been a real shit show. We thought January was a terrible month then March said, “Hold my Coronavirus.” The entire planet is supposed to be practicing social isolation so we don’t infect each other but most of our parents rotate between pulling their cash out of the bank like it’s 1945 and thinking this is all some hoax from the democrats.
The whole thing is kind of an introvert’s dream, but also I don’t like being told what to do. Either way, we seem to all be stuck being homebodies for the next few weeks. Continue reading “Staying Mentally and Physically Fit During Social Isolation”
A lot of us live our lives in a never-ending battle to keep it together. It feels like we’re being pulled in multiple directions and, frankly, it’s exhausting. We’re in a constant state of low-battery mode and we’re not sure how to charge the thing.
One problem is we totally misunderstand how our brains work. Continue reading “How to Recharge Your Life Battery Through Stoicism”
Some of my fondest childhood memories were watching old photographs come to life in my grandpa’s 35mm Kodak 650h projector. Each slide started with a satisfying click of the reel then finished with a story from decades ago.
We’d make popcorn and drink sweet tea or Coke while we all sat around and listened in rapt attention. Each slide was a new world. A different life. One locked away in a grainy 35mm slide forgotten by time, waiting to be reborn on a bumpy wall in Kalispell, Montana. Continue reading “How to Live Life One Old Kodak Slide at a Time”
Fire. That title is straight fire. February recap and March goals. If that doesn’t get your blood flowing I don’t know what will. What’s this article going to be about? I like to keep my readers guessing. Okay, fine. This post is going to be about what happened in February AND what my goals are for March. Continue reading “February Recap and March Goals”
I recently went on the personal vision quest where I went a month without alcohol. It was less fun than you might imagine. But, having that month in the rear-view has made me reflect fondly on the lessons it taught me. The most important lesson being not to commit to being sober for a month when you’re three drinks into the night.
Now that I’m allowed to drink again I think the month of sobriety was good stoicism training. The whole thing got me thinking: What else makes me happy that I can cut out for a month at a time? Continue reading “A Month Without- Finding Happiness by Being Miserable”
Today I want to talk about mindfulness and the fact that one day we’re all going to die. The point of the post isn’t to make people depressed, but rather to get you to stop and take a minute to appreciate the now.
Life is one long road trip. We get so focused on the road ahead that we never take a minute to look at the scenery. We’ll be at our destination before we know it. I’m afraid a lot of us will get there only to realize we never took the time to look out the window.
Continue reading “The Day After You Die”
This is Part III of my Choosing Family Over Finances series. If you missed Part I or Part II you can read those, but it’s not like you’ll be lost if you just ignore them altogether. Actually, those posts do set the groundwork a little bit. You should go back and read them first. Continue reading “Choosing Family Over Finances Part III”
I was recently struck with how little effort it takes to drastically affect someone’s day for the positive. My sister texted me out of the blue and asked how I was doing. Not in the “How’s it going?” “Good, you?” type of way, but a real “No really, how are you doing?” It gave me a chance to unload a little bit. Overall, I’m doing really well. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been. But, I’m also tired and find myself more than a little discouraged from time to time.
Here’s the truth: I want to quit blogging after every post I publish. Continue reading “The Cost of Kindness”
It’s been a little over two months since I officially became a part-time stay-at-home dad. If you think nobody cares about reading an update on our situation, well, think again. More than one person HAS asked how it’s going. The people want answers. If you haven’t read Part I of this post you should do that first. If you don’t want to read it, the gist is I decided to cut back on work so that I could spend more time at home with my daughter. It’s really quite heroic, you know. You should read it.
If you don’t want to read either of these posts, here’s a great article about how Smart Phones are toys first, tools second from David over at Raptitude.com. It has nothing to do with this article, I just thought maybe you’d like the option to read a different blog.
Anyway.
Real people on Twitter have asked how it’s been going and if I’ve written an update article. Here’s the proof.
See? Real people need real answers. The answer is, no. There has not been an update article written. Luckily for you, you get to skip all that angst wondering whether or not an update article is ever going to happen. Since no one else is here to interview me, I’ll interview myself. Interview questions will be in italics, my answers in regular type.
Thank you. I love your work, btw. Your article on Seven Skin Tight Life Lessons Learned From Wrestling was a real breath of fresh air. To answer your question, it’s pretty good.
As far as home life goes, I love it. I absolutely love spending Monday-Wednesday with my daughter. We go on walks, we read books, we look at birds, we do it all. I know some people really value the work they do and feel like they would be ‘missing something’ if they stayed at home every day with their kids. Those people probably have weird kids. If I had my druthers I would happily stay home every day to be a full-time real-life stay-at-home dad and let Mrs. Burrito Bowl be our breadwinner/sugar mama. This, of course, would be a wonderfully ironic title for her to hold since she allows neither bread nor sugar into the house.
Don’t cry for us, we’re each allowed one lick of a real sugar lollipop each Christmas. Ha, I kid, she’s not that strict with our sugar consumption. (blinks “SEND HELP” in Morse Code)
She’s not. She’s really wonderful. Turns to camera Hi sweetheart! Love you. Turns back to the mirror We go on walks every day and I’m able to visit Mrs. Burrito Bowl at work whenever it’s slow enough for her to take a walk.
There have been a couple of times I’ve found myself scrambling to clean poop with my bare hands before Baby Burrito Bowl has a chance to eat it, but overall it’s been really relaxing. She has for sure, on multiple occasions, pooped during the diaper-free time, rolled over and kicked her legs with vigor getting poop everywhere.
Yeah, I guess. It’s weird though, nothing she does grosses me out. I can clean her spit-up off her cheek and go right back to eating cottage cheese. Even her poop doesn’t gross me out. She didn’t poop at all for over a week AND THEN she pooped on the floor. That’s not what this interview is about. She’s very cute.
Currently, her favorite trick she can do is to shove her finger up her nose. She has the dexterity of a frostbitten foot, yet somehow she maneuvers her pudgy little finger directly into her nostrils with the precision of a fancy surgeon. The thing that will get me is when she starts eating her own boogers. That’s when I’ll go back to work, I think.
We’re doing it. We’re hanging in there. As far as work-life goes, I don’t love it. It’s fine. It’s not great, or terrible, but it’s actually more stressful than just working every day. When I work every day I know what’s going on everywhere. When I’m not at work during business hours for three days per week, it’s hard to keep up. Because of this I always have low-grade anxiety that I’ll get a call from my boss asking why something isn’t done and if I remembered to schedule such and such.
Initially, the idea was to take a pay cut and go down to part-time only working Thursday and Friday. To my surprise, my boss offered to just keep paying me my full salary. “Sweet, I’ll take it,” I thought. The catch is I have to go into work in the evenings Monday-Wednesday, work longer days Thursday and Friday AND occasionally work one of the two weekend days. It’s not ideal. It’s not even really part-time. I mean it kind of is. It’s not as glamorous as it might seem from the surface.
Okay. Well, I’m going to sound complain-y for a minute. I don’t mean to sound all whiney, but I’m just being as honest as I can be. First, I’m essentially working from home Monday-Wednesday during the day. It’s not like I’m totally off, able to focus solely on home life. I’m expected to have my phone near me and answer any calls/texts that come my way. It’s not nearly as taxing as actually working, but it is kind of stressful. I never know when the phone is going to ring and I’m going to need to answer why grown men didn’t show up and do their jobs.
I’m not physically there to check until the evening so I never can be sure if the trades completed their job or not. Because of Murphy’s Law, these calls usually come when I’m elbow-deep in a diaper change.
Then, after I’ve been keeping a baby alive all day and stressing out about missing work phone calls, I have to go into work during the evenings for two to three hours. So, even though the total physical hours aren’t that many, mentally it feels like I’m kind of always at work.
Secondly, in order to go to work for even a few hours in the evenings, it means I basically have to slap hands with my wife when she gets home from work as I head out the door and fight traffic to get to wherever I need to be. By the time I get home, she’s often in bed. Not ideal.
On Thursdays and Fridays, I end up working longer days in order to catch up on everything I missed Monday-Wednesday.
Yeah, exactly. My total hours actually working during the week are probably 60% of what I was working before, but I’m still getting the same salary. So this is a huge win. But, the timing of my work hours isn’t perfect. I get way more time with my daughter than I would if I worked a normal schedule and it keeps her out of daycare; the downside is I get way less time with my wife. I also have a lot more time where I’m not working but I have to be thinking about work. Before, I could come home and not really worry about work until the next day. Now, work takes up a lot more mental headspace.
No, not exactly. I didn’t think it would be possible to keep the same salary AND keep my daughter out of daycare. Initially, when we made this plan, we had no idea if my boss would go for it or if he would just replace me entirely. We knew that going in and we decided it was worth it for me to work part-time (or not at all) in order to keep our daughter out of daycare and spend more time with her.
Our current schedule won’t work long-term, but we’re happy to keep doing it for the next few months. We plan on moving back to Montana in a year or two and we most likely won’t have the same earning potential once we leave Portland. In the fall, I will most likely only work two days per week, or I’ll quit entirely.
Overall, I enjoy my job (as far as jobs go) and my boss has been generous working with me. The fact that I’m able to walk away gives me the resolve to make sure the deal works for our family. We know we can always make more money, but we’ll never get this time back with our daughter. This gives me the power to be able to ask for what I want without fear.
Getting our finances in order has really opened the world up to us as far as options go. We have the ability to draw a hard line in the sand because we’ve been pursuing financial independence. We’ve lowered our expenses, built up a buffer, and saved our hard-earned money. Now we have the luxury to walk away from a job if it doesn’t fit with what we want our family life to look like. Even if you have no desire to stop working, you should strive to live below your means and invest the difference because someday your circumstance might change and you’ll want nothing more in the world than to clean up poop mid-morning on Monday.
Absolutely. She’s just so darn cute. Having an ugly less adorable baby would make being a stay-at-home dad a lot harder. Here’s what she looks like right now as I type this.
I would pay American dollars to hang out with a baby that fun and cute. The fact that she’s my baby and I’m required by law to provide for her basic needs is just icing on the cake. It’s a pretty good life.
Thanks, Mr. Burrito Bowl. Always a pleasure.
I’ll update again with a Part III if/when my work situation changes.
Hi, we’re in the future. Here’s Part III.
To the audience, thanks for reading the blog, by the way. That’s really nice of you. Here are a few more articles that you might enjoy if you just really want to read about our little family.
The Burrito Bowls Eating Burrito Bowls- Our 2018 Cost Per Meal Analysis
The Burrito Bowl Diaries Philosophy on Money and Investing
Elimination Communication- Potty Training Our Newborn
The Burrito Bowls Go To Walmart- The Untold True Story
